Dove-imitation ban strikes Yorkshire!
In the news today, Calderdale Royal Hospital in Halifax has banned visitors from cooing at other people's new-born babies.
My first reaction to that headline was, "Who the hell goes around cooing at other people's babies?" I am clearly a heartless pig without a paternal bone in my body.
Yay me.
Enforcing this ban should prove delightful. Excuse me, Sir, did you just impersonate a pigeon in the vicinity of that infant? You come along with me. Now, now.
Brace yourself for a deluge of the phrase, "political correctness gone mad."
On a more serious note, I would have thought that early interaction with a range of people would provide much-needed stimuli for a baby and is essential for its development. Although babies are not public property. You wouldn't, however, guess this from some members of public who will quite happily stop a stranger with a baby and perform the coochie-coo routine. This is an especial problem with multiple births - walk around with twins and you're a magnet for all with spare time on their hands and inane questions on their mind: "Are they identical?", "Isn't it sweet when you can dress them the same?" and "Why are you swearing at me? - I'm just asking about your children!". General invasion of personal space can start earlier as pregnancy appears to be an excuse for random touching - women having to endure patting of the bump from well-meaning passers-by. For why?
Such instances of aggressive cooing and over-familiarity can happily be avoided by the wearing of a T-shirt reading "Touch my child without my permission and you die", or the carrying of a loaded weapon which can be drawn and fired to the accompanying spoken refrain of "Coo this, m*therf*cker!!"
I digress...
My first reaction to that headline was, "Who the hell goes around cooing at other people's babies?" I am clearly a heartless pig without a paternal bone in my body.
Yay me.
Enforcing this ban should prove delightful. Excuse me, Sir, did you just impersonate a pigeon in the vicinity of that infant? You come along with me. Now, now.
Brace yourself for a deluge of the phrase, "political correctness gone mad."
On a more serious note, I would have thought that early interaction with a range of people would provide much-needed stimuli for a baby and is essential for its development. Although babies are not public property. You wouldn't, however, guess this from some members of public who will quite happily stop a stranger with a baby and perform the coochie-coo routine. This is an especial problem with multiple births - walk around with twins and you're a magnet for all with spare time on their hands and inane questions on their mind: "Are they identical?", "Isn't it sweet when you can dress them the same?" and "Why are you swearing at me? - I'm just asking about your children!". General invasion of personal space can start earlier as pregnancy appears to be an excuse for random touching - women having to endure patting of the bump from well-meaning passers-by. For why?
Such instances of aggressive cooing and over-familiarity can happily be avoided by the wearing of a T-shirt reading "Touch my child without my permission and you die", or the carrying of a loaded weapon which can be drawn and fired to the accompanying spoken refrain of "Coo this, m*therf*cker!!"
I digress...
posted by Scattergun @ 3:30 pm
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